9/11/01 8:21 p.m. E.S.T
Sitting here trapped in Clearwater, Florida. Down here on business and a major act of terrorism has hit the United States. 4 planes were hijacked and used to crash into the World Trade Center Towers in NY. My problem is how to get home. Amtrak is full, and I’m not sure that I want to fly. What to do? The only goal is to get back home to see (wife), (daughter), and (parents). So, I just sit here.
September 12, 2001 2:50 p.m. E.S.T
I was able to get on Amtrak after all! I was tossin and turnin last night around 1 a.m. so I called Amtrak out of sheer desperation. Somehow they had a ticket, which I promptly booked. Within an hour I was packed and pacing the room. I paced for the rest of the night. I had to be in Tampa by 12 noon. At 10 am I left for Tampa by Cab. The driver was cool. Older white guy, his face showed deep lines of life experience. We talked about politics, the Bucs, and his love of America. I truly believe that this man would have dropped everything and gone off to fight a war right now. He was damn near grittin his teeth. I was feelin’ him though. This shit is epic in scope. Lots of people have been killed. I am currently sitting in “Lovely” Orlando waiting for a 3:51 pm train to D.C. That’s right. D.C.! I have to go from Florida to D.C., from D.C. to Chicago, and then Chicago to Emeryville. There is a long line at the ticket counter. I got my ticket early this morning. This station is old and moldy. It’s tropical outside, but definitely moldy inside. Florida is not a place I want to comeback to. I don’t think I’ll be able to get on a plane for a long time. My trip started off wrong because I couldn’t find (wife’s) cross. I always take it with me when I fly. I kiss it before takeoffs and I kiss it after landings. I couldn’t find it before I left. We searched and searched, but we couldn’t find it. I didn’t have it, so now I’m sitting here in Orlando. The tragedy is still on everybody’s mind. People are talking about it and nothing else. Some people are staring at me because I’m writing in a notebook. Got to be cool. People are on edge. This shit crosses all genders, races, ages, and socioeconomic lines. It has galvanized this nation. Earlier today in Tampa a TV crew was in the Station asking people how they felt. They approached me and I gave them the “Don’t even f*&#:!&g think about it” look and they disappeared like ghosts. I finally get to do the mythical train ride across the country like classic writers. I’ll get to see all of America through the window of a train. I can’t wait to see (wife), (daughter), and (parents). I won’t get home until Sunday. Today is Wednesday.
September 12, 2001 9:50 pm E.S.T.
We are somewhere in Georgia, I think. We stopped in Jacksonville about an hour and a half ago. Raining like crazy. Sheets and sheets of large raindrops. Seems biblical. A couple of things to comment on. I had a nice dinner with a newlywed couple. They had their trip to Disneyworld interrupted by the tragedy. They are from Boston. There is a very large and pregnant lady sitting across the aisle from me. Whenever she stands up she sticks her fat ass in my face. She’s always reaching in the overhead compartments. Unfortunately, she has slight “female” odor. I ain’t trippin. I’m not too fresh myself. This other guy is talking way too loud on his cell phone. He took one of the courtesy pillows and put his bare feet on it. Yech! Note to self: DO NOT USE A PILLOW!. The sister riding next to me is cool. Slightly older than me. She offered to share her blanket with me, but I politely declined. The air conditioner is cranked up all the way to Polar and it’s cold as a mopho. But I ain’t sharin’ a blanket on the midnight train to Georgia with a woman I don’t know. Guess my momma raised me right!? It’s dark outside, so I won’t get to see the state of my birth. I lived here for the first nine months of my life and I haven’t been back in 33 years. Oh well. I really wanted to see Augusta.
September 13, 2001 10:25 am E.S.T.
Slowly moving through Virginia. We went through North Carolina earlier this morning. Beautiful and sunny day. Spoke to (wife) briefly this morning. The signal was weak and we got disconnected. We should get to D.C. around noon. I leave for Chicago around 4pm. Air traffic is still grounded. I’d planned to take this coming Monday and Tuesday off because I’ll be very tired. But (boss) said that I have to be at a meeting on Monday afternoon. Say what? Train travel is ok, you get to see the country. But it’s slooooooow! Sleeping was a bitch. I don’t have a sleeping car. (Company) better not give me any shit about expensing this ticket. $ 508 dollars. The pregnant lady put her ass in my face again.
September 13, 2001 8:54 pm E.S.T. (I think)
Arrived in DC earlier today. Stayed there for about an hour and a half. We’re running late. Saw the Pentagon, but we couldn’t see any damage. Saw the smoke. I also saw the Capitol and the Washington Monument. The train station was in a mall. I bought a jacket in case it’s cold again. There is a large liquor store in this mall. Very large. Complete and utter chaos getting in line for the train. People were pushing and shoving trying to board. This is one of the rare times that I used my “black maleness” to full advantage. Nobody was stopping me from boarding this train. Congressman Charles Rangel from New York walked through the station. I think we’re in West Virginia. It’s dark and I can’t see. We should be in Chicago tomorrow morning. My cell phone is out of range so I couldn’t call (wife) tonight. I spoke with Dad briefly when I was at the DC station. Here we go again. There is a large, no, make that LARGE man across the aisle from me. He’s about 6 foot 4 and in the high 340 lbs. He looks like Avery Schreiber , that Dorritos guy from the 70’s. His voice is low and very gravelly. He’s wearing tank top that’s too small, some “cheeky” jogging shorts, and a pair of yellow flip-flops. He’s traveling with a young girl who is much too sprite for him. He can’t move that well, and she’s all over the damn train. He calls her name over and over with that gravelly voice. She needs to sit her little ass down. No manners at all. The large guy farted loudly. It sounded like it could have been wet. I was in a state of olfactory paralysis. VERY STINKY. That was the last straw for the lady in the seat in front of me. She went to go sleep in the observation car. I can’t wait to get home. My seatmate is a nice guy from KC. He said that he was in New York when the planes hit. Did I mention that I can’t wait to get home?
September 14, 2001 7:30 am C.S.T. (I think)
Traveled through Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and we are now stopped somewhere in Ohio. I got to see Heinz Field, where the Steelers play. But it could have been PNC park, where the Pirates play. There are a lot of small towns, silos, and acres of land to see. America is a conglomerate of small towns. News has been limited. Someone will pass around a newspaper from time to time. I have a walkman, so I can get some news on NPR, but radio stations are always fading in and out. There are thousands of flags on houses, buildings, water towers, cars, etc. The fat guy across from me snored VERY LOUDLY last night. I only had to save his life once. I guess he has sleep apnea or something because he constantly gagged while he was sleeping. He gurgled awake and seemed to be choking. With bugged out eyes he gestured for me to hit him on the back. I was eager to do it since he was keeping me from sleeping. For a brief moment I thought about letting him choke, then he’d really be quiet and I could get some sleep! But that wouldn’t have been right, so I proceeded to pound and pound on his back. Some of it was out of frustration and I may have left a bruise or two. He thanked me. I finally got to call (wife) around midnight. It was soothing and comforting to hear her voice. I became emotional and I cried after I hung up. I really miss them. Sunrise in the Midwest is beautiful. Florida is expecting 10 inches of rain today and tomorrow. I’m glad I left when I did. That was a good decision. Two more days to go. We should be in Chicago in a couple of hours. I was listening to Count Basie last night on my CD player. Very stirring music when you’re on a train. It’s true that his rhythm feels like being on a train. I forgot my deodorant so I am a bit tart in the general pit area. I can’t smell anything, so maybe I’m ok!? There is a lady sitting behind me with a lot of problems. For one thing, SHE CAN’T SHUT UP! She talked all night with the man next to her. They talked about each other’s problems all night. My beard is growing and I haven’t changed my drawers since Wednesday morning. The lady just told the man that he’s retaining water. On to Indiana and Illinois.
September 14, 2001 12:04 pm CST
I am sitting in a train station in Chicago. People of all races and kinds are watching President Bush speak a the memorial service for those who died in the World Trade Center incident. People are calm, quiet, and reserved. There was applause after his speech. I checked in with work to let them know where I am. Spoke with (wife) this morning. Bought some deodorant. Tried to upgrade my ticket to a sleeping car. All full. Tension crackled through the air when a man of Middle Eastern origins came strolling through with a large sports bag. He walked slowly across the waiting area. LOTS of people were staring at him. I have never been in a place where the eyes of all the people were focused on one stranger. It was surreal. He felt it too. You could see it on his face. I ain’t gonna lie, I watched him too. My mind clicked on the clues, Middle Eastern man, big city train station, large sports bag. Things eased slightly when his teenage daughter sat down next to him.
September 14, 2001 4:15 pm C.S.T.
Leaving Chicago after an hour and a half delay. Amtrak’s ridership is up 700%! Glad to be on the road, er, tracks. We should be in Emeryville Sunday evening. I still smell like a slave. Funky and dirty. I was able to shave however. I still haven’t changed my drawers since Wednesday!
September 14, 2001 9 pm C.S.T.
Somewhere in Iowa. Just had a wonderful dinner. A frozen ham and turkey sandwich! It’s my fault. I thought that the sandwich was refrigerated. But it was frozen. When the counter guy offered to heat it up I said “That’s ok.” Words of regret. My seat was six cars away from the cafeteria car. I didn’t feel like going back to heat it up, so I put some crackers between the layers of frozen meet and munched contentedly. What’s a frozen sandwich when thousands of Americans are dead? The guy behind the counter was comical. There were 17 HUNGRY people in line and he fumbled with a videotape in the VCR. People were impatient. I was shocked when I saw what the movie was. It was Tom Hanks in Cast Away. When it was my turn I asked him if he’d seen the movie before. He said no. I casually told him that part of the plot was a major plane crash. He gulped and went over and turned it off.
September 15, 2001 7:20 am C.S.T. (I think)
Somewhere near Lincoln Nebraska. Slept very well last night, probably out of exhaustion. Got up around 3:30 this morning and changed my clothes. Felt good to change my draws! Just had coffee and a great Sarah Lee Apple Danish. One of the male attendants has on way too much cologne. There was a nice radio station “Sweet 98” in Omaha. Slightly overcast and drizzling. The Midwest is flat for miles. No hills. Had the “Dad” dream last night. It always brings the same emotions. We’re currently passing through the 400th mile of cornfields!
September 15, 2001 4:34 pm M.S.T. (I think)
We’re running 12 hours behind schedule. We waited eight hours in Nebraska while the train ahead of us was searched by the FBI. That’s comforting. Not! I’m giddy with boredom. The only people who leave the train are the smokers. Passengers are strongly encouraged to stay near the train. It’s recommended that we don’t go into a station unless it’s absolutely necessary. Left Denver about an hour ago. We are in the Rockies. It’s beeyooteeful up here. Lots of great scenes.
September 16, 10:49 am M.S.T (I think)
Somewhere in Nevada. I’ve stopped counting hours. I’m counting days. I have no idea how many hours behind we are. Time is not moving concurrently with the pictures outside my window. Is that existentialism? It’s probably bored ass Negro on a trainialism! Passed through St. Lake City earlier this morning. Feeling better today. I can’t worry about things at work. I can only do what I can. Slept well last night, despite the terror infused Amtrak wild ride. The conductor put the pedal to the metal and we rocketed all night. Very bumpy. I truly believed that we we’re going to derail. I was so scared that I held on to the seat with my ass cheeks. I didn’t know that I could clench like that. Impressive. Everything outside my widow is moving at it’s own pace. I will not have caffeine or alcohol today. Currently listening to Janet Jackson on the CD player. It’s very sexy when she says f#@^*@*. Janet is very desirable. This trip has changed me. I have a different perspective on life, love, and control. There are things that you just can’t control. Had dinner with three gentlemen last night. All they talked about was sports, money, and golf. Zzzzzzzz. I am not going to stress out when I get to work. We passed by a wrecked and burned out Amtrak car outside of Salt Lake City. Rumors of a derailment had spread like wild fire through the car sometime last century. Or was that last night? The conductor must be masochistic because he (or she) cruised by the wreckage at a leisurely six miles an hour. This allowed all the passengers to get nice and long look at the carnage. I’m still smelling like a slave. We could literally smell the wrecked car. Or is that me? Not comforting at all. Not even remotely pleasant. This is not something that you’d pencil in on your calendar. Underneath “meeting at 2” you could write “slowly pass by burned and derailed train at 3”. (Wife), (Daughter), (Parents) I’m almost home! I will not be able to ride all the way to Emeryville. I’ve arranged to disembark at Martinez. I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I’ll pick up my luggage tomorrow. AFTER WORK!
September 16, 2001 9:50 pm P.S.T. (I’m sure)
Just left Colfax. Went through Reno about 6 pm. Due to the unimaginable amount of hours that we’re behind Amtrak gave us all free dinner! However, they removed all the metal silverware and replaced it with plastic cutlery. All of the real butter was gone and replaced with margarine packets (yech). I’m not sure if that’s ironic or comedic. Could be both. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated it. What I’m going through is nothing compared to the people who lost their lives. I’m just searching for some meaning in all this. Some concept that I can grasp onto and keep my wits. I guess that’s what it’s all about. Keeping my wits. This train ride has taken me on a journey that I never expected. Just a little more trip left. I will never forget this. Ever. Had a brief debate with a train mate about bravery. He told me that his wife is a DA in San Francisco and she’s preppin’ for a major case. He seems to think that there is some iota of bravery in what the hijackers did. That didn’t sit well with me at all. I’d just read the newspaper, and they printed the names and ages of the victims on the planes. I saw children 8, 9, 11, and younger. I cried again. I’m usually pretty cool. But his comment bothered me. I set him straight that there was nothing brave about hijacking a plane and crashing it into a building. He was a 30is lawyer and conservative. Other train mates, including the Doctor from the Peninsula who always reeked of red wine, joined me in lambasting his dumbass comments. Respectfully though. It’s hard to get into a serious debate with people who all stink as hard as you do. If everybody stinks is it really odor? If a tree falls in the woods…The little female attendant brought my luggage out to me! It’s a fairly large case and she labored mightily to get it to me. I tried to tip her five bux (my last five bux) but she wouldn’t take it. There is still hope in the world. I can still believe that something out there is good and true. I can’t think of a better way to cap off this trip. I’ll be home in my own bed in about 4 hours. I will be able to kiss and hug my family. What is better than that? This trip has been a valuable learning experience for me. I spoke with (wife) a few moments ago. She told me that she’s already scheduled an appointment for me with Dr. (melon thumper). This will be some session. This trip has changed me. This trip has changed me. This trip has changed me. It’s made me more human. This has been a valuable learning experience. This has been the ride of a lifetime!
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